We have learned, at least many of us have, not to speak everything we think...but many of us need to get better at not even believing everything we think, or even listening to it. So much of it is simply junk!
That sounds harsh and I mean it to be. We need to wake up to this reality so we can, moment-by-moment, make our world a better place. Can you think of a better job for every one of us to do?
According to the National Science Foundation, 80% of our thoughts are negative and 95% of our thoughts are repetitive!
Soak that in.
Then pause, ponder...
Is that you?
These are unsettling statistics, but they reveal a picture that we can actually improve upon. We do not have to be victims or active partners of this deeply imbedded human reality.
These statistics elucidating the frequency and repetitiveness of our negative thoughts clearly suggest we need to upgrade this ratio. Why? What are the practical, day-to-day impacts of these thought patterns?
But let's look at another sobering reality first. It is difficult for us to even notice this pattern because it has been humanity's reality forever. One of my favorite wisdoms states:
"I don't know who discovered water, but I'm sure it wasn't the fish." -Author Unknown
Most of us wouldn't guess the 80% and 95% numbers the National Science Foundation came up with. It's simply been our lives. Not a big deal. But as we awaken to this sobering reality, we are now given a choice.
Wouldn't you prefer to move closer to 70% and 85% over the course of your lifetimes? And wouldn't you wish for even lower numbers for humankind as part of our evolution? For our children, our grandchildren, their children...the human race.
Some of us reflexively say, "That's impossible," and "It's just who we are." Others of us who are more optimistic say with determination, "Isn't it at least worth trying? What could we possibly lose? Let's go for it!"
Here are some repercussions our thoughtless tendencies have on each of us, and some of the cool benefits of making them more thoughtful and positive:
Negativity limits our capability to take in the infinite beauty in our infinitely beautiful world. Taking in this beauty is awe-inspiring, and awe puts us on the pathway to joy. Joy is as close to heaven as we get here on earth.
By allowing our 80% - 95% patterns free reign, we become more judgmental. We habitually notice, even look for, what we don't like in ourselves and others. This habit limits our curiosity, caring, compassion, understanding and empathy. Being less judgmental allows us to get to know people better and even appreciate them. We need more of that.
Pessimistic thoughts easily lead to anxiety, depression and friction of every kind. When we let these freely roam in our brains, we darken our lives and those close to us, too. Common thoughts like: "I am a jerk." "She is a jerk." "I am better than you." "You are better than me." "They don't like me." All these thoughts are toxic, shallow and minimally 98% false.
These thoughts inevitably dampen all essential positive human qualities: love, forgiveness, tenderness, optimism, joy, confidence and ultimately our inner and outer peace.
Now, let's get down to the facts.
I don't know you (maybe I do), but regardless, I know for sure you are a wonderful human being.
How do I know that?
Every single one of us has a soul that guides us to be the best person we're meant to be. We are each born with an inner purity that knows. Do we always follow our enlightened soul's wisdom? No, not always. No one does...always. We have all hurt ourselves and others by our soulless words and actions. We're human.
It is also this very same humanity that allows us to make a choice: the moment-to-moment decision between deferring to our deflating habits, and choosing our more loving, connecting ways.
Please...let's all do it!
- Burt Gershater is a counselor, leadership trainer, speaker and writer. He can be reached at [email protected]
