There are those beautiful, fleeting moments where everything slows down and the rush of life comes to a halt. As fathers, we need to push back against the constant chasing, comparing and grasping and instead, model this slow-down for our families. When we slow down, we find our children follow, allowing for a deeper, more fulfilling and relaxing family life.
Fatherhood can be overwhelming and difficult. Here are a few simple things to help bring more joy to you and your children.
Stop Comparing
It can be so easy, especially in Bend, to look around and see other dads taking their kids on rad adventures – skiing every weekend, riding bikes and going, going, going. Our social media feeds show friends raising amazing kids who are always engaged in some exciting activity. We encourage dads not to buy into this culture of incessant doing and going. Get off your social media and put down your phone. When you feel the comparisons coming up, redirect by sharing gratitudes with your children at mealtime or before bed.
Joy in Chores
We get it. Fatherhood is, at times, exhausting. Sometimes, mowing the lawn, doing the dishes or fixing dinner is all we have the capacity for. Engaging our kids in our chores in a slow and mindful way is not only great modeling but teaches our kids that there can be joy in work. Even if it takes twice as long, you're really killing two birds with one stone – completing the task and spending quality time connecting with your child. Slow down and realize that the rush you feel is often self-imposed. Allow chores to be an opportunity for connection.
Take Action
No need to make drastic changes to your life, it's the little ones that count. As a simple guide, designate two times a day when you purposely slow down for five minutes. Find a comfortable place to sit and ask these questions: What are people around me doing? What do I really want to be doing? Where are my kids right now and is there a way to engage with them? Once you do this a few times a day, it turns into a habit that becomes more addictive over time. Stay positive and avoid judgment. Start down the path to bringing more joy into your parenting by slowing down and taking it all in.
Todd LaFrenz and Ryan Goldstein are long-time educators and parent coaches who are passionate about supporting parents in raising healthy, happy and connected children.
